I love you because...

If you got married...you'd invite me to the wedding.

You return my calls.

If we went out to eat, you would tell me if you had a financial interest in the restaurant.

If you had a disease, you'd tell me before you kissed me.

If you knew you owed me an apology, you wouldn't wait seven years to deliver.

If you visited the city I lived in you would call me...or e-mail me or visit me.

If I visited the city you lived in...and called you to say I was in town, you would want to see me.

If I told you my landlord was trying to evict me...you would show up in court to defend me.

If I had food on my face or if I was getting fat, you would tell me. (Thanks, Channel 7.)

You did not fuck me up the ass ( then do it again after I asked you not to ever fuck me up the ass.)