24...24...hours ago oh OH

what is this what is this what is this what is this
what is this what is this what is this what is this
what is this what is this what is this what is this
what is this what is this what is this what is this

last night at grassroots someone played
Strawberry Fields...this is a song I've heard
over and over and over and over
as it was one of the first 45 records Matthew
ever purchased...
I never really understood or thought I missheard
the part about nothing

to get hung about...

it's sunday and I don't know what I'm doing...

its sunday and I don't know what I'm doing...


I'm looking for something...........................................>
............................................................................>
............> to w(here)ear.............................................
............>
................................................................>
..................................................................................
.......................>
.......................................................>
.............................................>

ok...I'm hooked...hook hook hooked...
on phonetics,
on repetition,
on lists,
on old, yellow, colorless-purple typed...
letters
and adjec
tives...ja...
je pense..je

suis...truely
hooked on all that...mr safire
what about hooking in wartime
1941...gardens and scrapbooks
and the word...um

what was that word?

je ne peut re...re...re

nevermind

my right foot?
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

am i a real new yorker now?

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

I started therapy today...I also sat in university diner and started reading the introduction to the divine comedy...wondering which circle of hell i might currently inhabit...I felt sort of new york state of mind-y...like bill bourroughs/woody allen in an ed hopper.

Krishna and I then went to see another wellspring film...called Good Morning Night.

I loved it. It helped me with some of the questions I've been having about "democratic"capitalism vs socialism. Questions spawned by the last film Krishna and I saw: Good Night and Good Luck and it reminded me to read don delillo's new book.

Krishna
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

It's Wednesday...almost 4pm and I haven't moved very far...Krisha, Rebecca and Tayo spent the night last night...I'm still getting over somekind of illness plus some wicked menstrual cramps...MMMmmmenstrual CCCrrammmps.......gotta love being a woman.

Yesterday Socorro and I went to vote. That was good fun...all the switches and canidates...a vertable schmorgasbord(sp?) of parties...green...socialist workers...yay!

The day before that I took a trip to Jersey with Kumal. That was good fun. Thanks, Kumal.

So...ugh...Purple rain just ended...I guess I'll take a shower and do some laundry.

Thirteendays of Reflection: Day (6)?

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Ok...I'm up to 1996. Keeping in mind that this blog:

http://www.artexaminglife.blogspot.com/

was created as a makeshift portfolio for my art/life professors to view and recommend (or not recommend) me as a grad school candidate...I'm a little embarrassed at how personal it is and slightly sheepish in thinking that it does not go far enough in explaining the horrible mistakes and consequences...these past thirteen years (and these past 36 years for that matter)...This is the point at which religion starts to make sense.

You know, the absolution from sin and responsibility in exchange for confession and the "God still loves all us children...even the 36 year old ones."

Be aware, anyone who is glad I have let go and let God, faith is a fleeting thing for me. Moments from now I will be thinking what a manipulative and mis-used deception the "Great One" is...but for now I take comfort in the belief that we are perfect...just as god made us (U.S.?).

Don't...don't...don't...let's forget:

Jesus Died For The American People

good night and good luck

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Last night Krishna and I went to a free screening of this movie about CBS, Edward R. Murrow, and Senator Joseph McCarthy's hunt for communists. Krishna wasn't as impressed. I really loved it...the careful b & w cinamatography...the gravity of the subject...If nothing else it sparked a good three of four hours of discussion about socialism/communism/capitalism/Civil Rights.

Thanks, George Cluny for making this film.

I've been watcing this building across the street...it belongs to the boy's (and girls?) club...There are rumors of proposals for a community center on this site.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

vote aqui------->
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

two
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

2
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

two sleep...
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

Thirteen (wednes)Days of Reflection: Day 3

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

I've started putting together an application for graduate school...I am applying to the nearest school, City College...to the College of Fine Art. This has inspired me to get in touch with my art professors and professoras from long, long ago...begging for rememberence and recommendations...it also inspired this blog/On-line review of my life in sketchbooks these past thirteen years. As with most projects, this is taking longer than I anticipated:

www.artexaminglife.blogspot.com

(oops...i misspelled examining.)

Grope Magazine

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

I was working with Habitat in AL a few years back and thinking about what to do next...I thought I might travel around the world looking at cities and buildings and the way people moved through cities and write about the experience in the form of a 'zine...I came up with the name Grope. The word seemed an accurate description of the way in which I wanted to travel...Somewhat blindly, without relying on guide books. Instead I wanted to put faith in my other senses to listen and feel my way around. When I ended up taking a somewhat fixed position in New York the travel/architecture/culture magazine idea ("like National Geographic but different and for Grrls") definately went to the back burner. I am now making small attempts at reincarnating it as a blog: http://www.gropemagazine.blogspot.com/

welcome to my disgusting head
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

thirteen days of reflection-day 2 (1993)

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

ok...turns out it takes more than an hour to sum up a year...so I'm still on 1993, the year after graduation...As I look back I find an increasing need to praise and thank the many people who have been great teachers in my life. The Tibbetts, The Laceys, The Cadles, The Petits, The Parcheskys, The Stannards, The Courneys, The Camerons, The Adams, The Puffers, Mrs. Barts, The Jennings, The Burdens, The Lindemeiers, The TrinityUM's, Teachers at JMHS: Ms. A...Mrs S., Paul...The Beckers (who let me love geometry and dance) Teachers at San Antonio College: Mr. Casas (who upon meeting me, inexplicatly informed me that I could not ride off into the sunset), Mr. "yin-yang, collage and rhythm"Cox, Mark "Why are you here? Who wants an A? That's Poetry."Pritchett, Tom "North is not up."Willome...Teachers at UT: Linda Montano, Bill Lundberg, Dan Sutherland, Fausto Fernos...people I met at pearl street co-op: Raphael, Jo-Ann...James P...Lisa Ii...Jim...Will...Caro...Jenny Hart...Dan Walton Sarah Lyons
and her informal school of art, literature and philosophy...Charcters around OSU: Tom Butts...Prudence Gill (and Carter)...Odette Blum (and Max and Trench)...Richard Harned
...Joe Neff...Tory Sanderson...Anamaria Q...People around Austin doing it for real for themselves:

Shawn Mc Millian, Andy Loomis, Liz Fitch, Tom and Christina Carter
(thanks for sending the glasses),
Dan Plunket and Blake...Candy

Matthew...Dustin...My Grandparents...
My Parents...David...The Aunts, Uncles and Cousins
Big Miss Moviola...Susan...Susan...Susan...
Susan...Andy...Andy...Andy...Steve...Steve...
Steve...TOM...Bones...Bill...Ben...Jon...Jonathon...John...Laurie...
Chris...Chris... Christina
Dominique...Fausia...Casey...Casey...Jose...Dave...Kym...Pedro...
Charles...
Art...Ed...MILO... JOhn Piper...IKE...The Oldags...Tomb...Craig...
Colleen...Karen...The Whites...The Johnsons
Mr. Lee...Mr. Arthur...Sasha...Habijax Americorps of 2002-3, M. Kane...Dana...Ryan...Kathy...UUs of Jacksonville...Dina...Kumal...
Krishna...Will...Brian...Becca...
Socorro...
Bibbi...Sarah M, Sarah M, Michelle...Mrs. Lozano...Mrs. Winike
Mary Knoll...everyone at UHAB...did I say my mom?

1993...looking for jobs...waiting tables at Stars Inn (part time)...riding my bike to the old wes side to get paid to play with four year old Allison Eichman four hours a day.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

Dan Sutherland was one of my drawing teachers that last year at UT...on one of the last days of his class he brought in several full sheets of plywood for us to paint...collaboratively...many people had made small graffitti-like pictures...I wanted to give it some overall structure by going over things (wet and dry) with water and a paintbrush...in grid-like lines...one of my classmates asked, "Is this a control thing."
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

one cavity...December 2005 will mark the thirteenth anniversary of my college graduation...for the next thirteen days i will spend one hour a day reflecting on my life and art in these past thirteen years.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

tomorrow i go to the dentist for the first time in three years.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

living in a bubble

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this.
Early last saturday morning Kumal and Brian and I greeted the sun from Jesse and Arum's rooftop. It was one of those unexpected great moments. The kind of perfect moment Spaulding Gray must have been talking about in Swimming to Cambodia.

I had no idea there was a hurricane named Katrina. No sense of impending disaster. When I saw the picture on the front page of the paper late sunday afternoon, i was amazed. everything under water. everything. unbelieveable...like the pictures from abu grabe...too amazing to be real...like the falling towers...and still somehow I shook my head in disbelief and went back to work and pretty much forgot about it until I saw the picture of the body floating in the water a few days later. Is this really happening here? in the us? But still shook my head and went back to shelving books and pretty much forgot about it.

Yesterday there were protesters in Union Square. Why isn't there more disaster relief? Why were the levees left in such condition? Good questions. The general consensus in Union Square aka Camp Casey seemed (to borrow a phrase from the energy blog) to be that the bush administration was out to "prove that government doesn't work while simultanously robbing tax payers blind."

Today I passed on going to the big parade in Brooklyn in favor of organizing the file cabinet at the community garden. There was something good about seeing those papers. Calanders for planting...bylaws...optimistic mission statements...maybe there's still time to plant kale.

stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

I'm feeling gross...bleeding...watching t.v....girl 6...now something set at a girls boarding school...It's hot...I'm ready for fall. Saw a great sun set from a roof in Brooklyn. thinking...tap tap tap...thinking about what to do next.

july july july

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this
two twenty-eight. seven twenty-nine two-thousand five.still no wireless connection. Sigh. Time to practice typing without looking.Granted, something I should have learned long ago. I've been a non-typist for the last thirty some odd years. I figured I'd never have to be anybody's secretary that way. Now being a secretary doesn't seem as bad to me. Now it seems like a noble profession. Noble to be so helpful without desiringglory or credit. Sadly, secretarial work often takes place under horribllyinhumaine lighting.
sigh;;hmmm...what should I type about?
Something reflective I suppose...unexamined life such as it is.
Technology and me: &arrgh.
work: I dig the routine...biking, picking up books, judging them by their covers,putting them where they go...alphabetically, checking in with people, going to lunch,setting aside books to buy, trying to stay out of harm's way, trying to stay amusedand appear productive, riding home with my new derailer...my new head light...my new books:
hero with a thousand facesanias ninquanity theory of insanityslow learnercrime and punishment
the weather: finally cooler. Blissfully cool. very fine. no longer horribly, miserabllyhot and humid.
joints: slighty less achy(sp?) since I started taking the glucosamine.
finances: ok...barring unforseen disasters.
roomates: amusing to tolerable...disregarding smelly cat-box and the feeling that no one is cleaning anything.
future: unknown with a hint of bleakness. I am looking forward to my birthday and seeing the new show at ps1.I keep intending to compose letters to former professors asking for letters of reference for graduate schoolbut I keep putting it off since I haven't decided which program to which to apply.(what awkward phrasing)MFA? MUP? MARCH? MAH?
grip on reality: (desperately?) (deliberately?) depressingly tight.
and the great indicatior of well being:
laundry: 80% clean

My mom came to visit and we went to the Time Warner building, Central Park, and the Met...then to see As You Like It. Je t'aime NY.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

listening to music
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

My mom in the central park.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

hello there
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

enamel
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

figurines
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

children sleeping on table
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

Swimming, laundry, tele-conferencing

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Today was a great day. I had the day off from Der Strand...so i checked greenhomenyc.org to see if they had any interesting lectures scheduled...there was one...somehow related to the american bar association and ceep...It wasn't free but I figured I had been to so many free events that I could pay for a change (so to speak).

It turned out to be a teleconference which I couldn't really spend my cell phone minutes listening to for very long, but the whole experience of figuring that out (I didn't read very carefully) and calling in was kind of fun...The best part was having/taking time to read the material and formulate questions. My question was "Can someone please create a LEED-like rating system for legislators...and if so who would our "platinium" legislators be?"

Since I had no lecture to go to...I went swimming at riverbank state park...a good move on my part...I forgot how good swimming feels. Swimming followed by reading in the sun...followed by shopping at the 99 cent store...followed by speaking a little spanish with my neighbors...followed by six raspberry fruit pops...followed by taking out the trash...followed by making up songs based on a 199(8?) new york times article about a new entrance in a garmet district loft building...followed by a santiago caltrava doc...following doing laundy and talking with Dave...followed by not doing my taxes (again).

all in all a very good day.

our new super-helper
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

Socorro Cordova, Mechanical engineering student at City College now studying abroad in Germany.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

my neighbors, Lydia and Pedro up on the roof top.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

ant farm

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

It's been a fairly good week...I went to an all women bike mechanic's workshop...shelved some literature...picked up a little book about Guerrilla television back in 1971 by Michael Shamberg and raindance corperation.

Last year sometime I sawa wildly painted bread truck that said Ant Farm on the side...I think it had an address for an art collective in new jersy...I was intrugued but not enough to do anything about it. This book the Guerrilla TV book is designed by Ant Farm...who I learned are the same people who made the cadallac ranch out in west tx. This must be really old news to most people.

I am so out of the loop...anyway, I find that this guy chip lord was a founding member and there seems to be a show of art farm stuff in philly but that might be old too.

anywho...ant farm...seems worth looking into.

copyright? what copyright?
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

terraced housing est tres cool
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

first peak flow day

It's HOT!

Tonight I went to the Municipal Arts Society's Urban Center to hear about nyc's plans to deal with energy demand. From the Bookstore I bought a periodical called LOG. It looks pretty interesting I hope it will inspire me to work on the GROPE 'zine...Ugh...then I spent some time with my friend Emma who is (thank god) quitting smoking. Now I sit on my futon listening to WBAI and sweating.

The big news is Casey just became a Baby-Daddy.

Yawn...free wine makes me sleepy.

Tita is Bernardo's very sweet cat. She likes to destroy my wool carpet.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

My roomate, Bernardo hasn't cleaned his cat's box in over a month.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

Everyday my roomate, Bernardo goes into this closet to get the cat food. Everyday the cat walks around in this. Bernardo doesn't seem to find this unsanitary.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

muppets, sorkin, Butchie

It's been a while since I've posted anything. I fell into that trap of waiting until I had something interesting or clever to say instead of just taking time to write whatever is on my mind. So here goes:

I've been thinking some more about graduate school and being who I am...I am looking into city college since it happens to be near where I live. One of the programs I was interested in is the Masters of Urban Planning (MUP). Turns out the director of this school is an architect named Michael Sorkin. I did a little reading about him and am finding out that he is pretty wonderful and amazing. So far I have been impressed with everything about him. He seems to epitomize everything good.

Ok...for example here is an article about how planners from Israel and Palestine are working together to plan a future Jerusalem. How much more relevant could anyone be? Anyway, I am impressed. I don't know if I can get into his program but I am definitely interested in what he is doing.

Coincidentally enough I have been thinking about muppets. I saw a video clip of sesame street characters lip sync-ing an NWA song...and two clips of REM (worlds greatest band) with muppets...AND I came across a great book of Jim Henson's sketchbooks...it reminded me of a similiar book of dr seuss's less seen work.

This morning my mother told me that our Aunt Butchie passed away last Friday. The full sadness of this news didn't really hit me until this afternoon. She was an amazingly thoughtful and full of life and love. So much personality and energy packed into a tiny Japanese frame. It's sad to imagine a world without her in it.

I also saw an amazing thing in union square...a man with a collection of pinhole cameras. He had used tin cans and those plastic canisters 35mm film comes in. the holes were so tiny you almost couldn't see them. The pictures came out looking very wide angle. He had pictures of the brooklyn bridge and various types of architecture from around the city.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

Yesterday someone left ten of these mysterious pictures printed on thermal register paper in the G's of Literature Non-fiction...I suspect an inside job.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

This place is so disgusting yet so beautiful.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

strange dreams

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Sick again...heavy dull pain in my head, neck, throat and I sleep and sleep and sleep. Dreaming half awake about butterflies and people I haven't seen in years. I hope this ends soon. How can a person sleep this much.

"Daley caught sight of them way high. On the far shore of the river December cast into steep shade a strech of escarpment, while on this side was a precarious vantage of observation the group had reached in their ascent." Actress In The House--Jeseph McElroy
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

"He could handle things, he knew the design of miles of coolant pipes without which the Hoover couldn't have been built, had actually studied the subsidiary wing dam built above the primary vast simplegravity structure of Grand Coulee, and he could think for himself."
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

"...STAIRCASE AS A STAGE (153) and OPEN STAIRS (158) will tell you where to place the various stairs, both indoors and out doors. This pattern gives each stair exact dimentions and treats it like a room so that it becomes a realistic plan."--a pattern language Christopher Alexander
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

last week my beautiful red bike was stolen...I hope someone out there is taking care of this lovely bike...sigh...I miss it so much...riding the train is making me fat and poor(er).
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

god is ood

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

"99.999% of statistics are made up on the spot."

Today someone asked for a new book of letters by published by the daughter of Richard (Fineman?)Feynman. The name didn't ring a bell at first. She said he was a scientist, a mathmatician. I sent her downstairs to look at the review books and the science books. Then I started thinking I knew that name like maybe he taught at UT or something. I guess not though because I see now that he died in1988. For some reason I assosiate the name with a flier I saw for a lecture about Buckminster Fuller...also I associate Feynman with my friend Steve who knew (knows) a lot about math and engineering probably mentioned (raved about) them both. When topics like DDT or Feynman come up in the stacks people say "Ask Will."

(Will is a young quick talking, curly red haired savant. His hair is curly. He's not actually that curly. I guess there should be some hyphens in there.)

I've been shelving history books all week since the film and lit sections are closed down for renovation...the other day I had a small discussion about scientology, happiness, Siddhartha, and eastern philosophy which has got me thinking about religion.

A few years ago when I was working at the 007 hpb store register in Austin, a guy, nice enough, spent some time raving about a book called Why Religion Matters by a guy named Huston Smith. (Did I have a neighbor named Huston Smith once?) I never got very far with the book before because it is full of big words that I don't use very often...words like: Promethian, epistemological, Reductionism, Faustian, ineluctable corollary, metaphysical, Parmenides, nihilism, Postmodernism, Cosmological Shortcomings, Hottentot science, materialism, Consilience, incommensurable, quantium mechanics, empericism, al-Mahdi, samsara and kakemono.

But NOW, armed with my large French-English dictionary, I think am ready to tackle it.

1) Promethian-well that not in there, but isn't that the guy who flew too close to the sun...or the guy who stole fire from the gods?

2) epistemological-adj epistemologique.

hmm...Let's Google:

"from the greek words epista meaning knowlege and logos meaning word/speech a branch of philospohy that deals with the nature, orgin, and scope of knowlege"--wikipedia

ok that's an easy one that I pretty much already knew...when i think epistemological I think, "The study of what can be known." Thank you PHIL101. Now were getting somewhere.

3) Reductionism- When I think of reductionism I think of simmerin' down but this can't be about cooking. Yaneer knows better:

Concepts in Complex Systems
Yaneer Bar-Yam

"Reductionism
Reductionism is an approach to building descriptions of systems out of the descriptions of the subsystems that a system is composed of, and ignoring the relationships between them.
For example, considering a biological system to be composed of molecules with certain structures, or considering a molecule to be composed of atoms.
Note that once positions of atoms in a molecule are specified, relationships between the atoms are also specified. Similarly, once the relative locations of molecules are specified in a biological organism, relationships between these molecules are also specified. Taking into account such relationships is beyond a purely reductionist approach.
However, it is also considered "reductionist" to consider specifying the positions of atoms of a biological organism a specification of the organism. Some consider this reductionist because it is difficult to obtain macroscopically relevant information from this approach, or because this approach is not practical, others because of the notion of strong emergence, that there is more to a system than the specification of parts and their relationships.
The mathematics of reductionism is, at its most basic, the use of fractions which holds that dividing and multiplying are opposites. The statement 2(1/2)=1 is the idea that dividing a system into two parts and then putting them back together restores the original system. This is valid for systems where only the total mass of a system matters, such as for weights, or for collections of small weakly interacting particles, like a pound of flour. The existance of many systems that can be effectively described in this way is important for the study of complex systems as it provides one aspect of a contrasting notion of a simple system. However, it is not generally true."

ok that's clear...um hey all this learnin is making me sleepy, but I really want to know the answer to the burning questions like why birthcontrol is wrong? and why all the unrest in the mid-east? And why am I not happy 100% of the time like an evangelical christian or a Scientologist?

What would Faust do?

amusing comic strip

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

ha! I sat down to read some more of Actress in the House and decided to google Joseph McElroy since I had never seen a picture of him. I couldn't find a picture but I did learn that he's a Brooklyn boy well...not so much a boy anymore...he's 75 years old. I went on surfing a bit and came across this amusing book-industry comic strip.

steve sells out

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Finally time time time to do some laundry...yesterday was a really good day at the bookstore...Sundays always seem more fun than other days there...people seem less stressed out...more whimsical...I saw so many nice shirts it made me want to sget some silk screen...like the guy with the "SELL OUT." t-shirt.

I asked what that was...an indictment? a suggestion? He said it was a project...he seemed happy that I asked...he gave me the web address...www.stevesellsout.com...I checked it out...it's curious...curiously hopeful...I want to send him some money but I don't know if I will.

another green day

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Estoy cansada, pero tengo algunos minutos para practicar espanol.

Aqui hay un otro poema de Pablo Neruda:

Oda a la cama
Ode to the bed

De cama en cama en cama
es este viaje,
el viaje de la vida.

We go from one bed to the next
In this journey,
life's journey.

El que nace, el herido
y el que muere,
el que ama y el que suena
vinieron y se van de cama en cama,
vinimos y nos vamos
en este tren, en este nave, en este
rio comun
a toda
vida,
comun
a toda muerte.

The newborn, the afflicted,
the dying,
the lover and the dreamer alike:
they arrived and they will depart by bed,
we all have arrived and we will all depart
on this train, on this boat, down this
river which is common
to all
life,
which is shared by each and every death.

la tiera es una cama
florida por amor, sucia de sangre,
las sabanas del cielo
se secan
desplegando
el cuerpo de septiembre y sublancura,
el mar
cruje
golpeado
por la
cupula
verde
del
abismo
y mueve ropa blanca y ropa negra.

Love makes the earth
a bed for blooming, mired in blood.
The fullness of September, its clarity
shaken out
in sheets by the skyful,
drying.
The sea groans,
battered
by the
green
vault
of the
abyss,
surging in the white clothes, and black.

Oh mar, cama terrible,
agitacion perpetua
de la muerte y la vida,
del aireencarnizado y de la espuma,
duermen en ti los peces,
la noche,
las ballenas,
yace en ti la cienza
centerfuga y celeste
de los agonizantes meteoros:
palpitas, mar, con todos
tus dormidos,
construyes y destruyes
el talamo incesante de los suenos

O sea, intimidating bed,
death and life
writhing endlessly
and savage air and spray:
fish sleep deep inside you,
and the night,
and whales.
In you rest
the celestial, centrifugal
ashes of dying meteors.
You throb, sea, with the life of everything
that sleeps within you,
you build up and tear down
the ever-renewed bride's bed of dreams.

De prontosale un rayo
con dos ojos de puro nomeolvides,
con nariz de marfil o de manzana,
y te muestra el sendero
a suaves sabanas
como estandartes claros deazucena
por donde resbalamos
al enlace.
Luego
vienea la cama
la muerte con sus manos oxidadas
y su lengua de yodo
y levanta su dedo
largo como un camino
mostrandomas la arena,
la puerta de los ultimos dolores.

Lighting flashes suddenly
in two eyes of pure forget-me-not
and an ivory or apple profile.
It shows you the way
to soft sheets
like bright banners, white lilies,
down which we roll
to the final embrace.
Then death
slips into bed with us
with his spotted hands
and iodine tongue.
He raises a finger
as long as a road
showing us the shore,
the gateway to our dying pain.

How did I wind up her?

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

It's a beautiful day...wednesday...a day off sitting here with Tita...sunn streaming in the room...kids playing outside...a really nice day...I must get out and buy some groceries and do some laundry...but this spot here in the sun is warm and comfortable...Staten Island...Staten Island...Staten Island...Spaulding Grey was last seen on the Staten Island Ferry...Yesterday I was looking up an account at the bookstore and the combination of exaustion and my very bad spelling skills left me fumbling for the letters...Staton Island...Statin Island...MVW kindly bailed me out...um...I think it's StatEn...The woman with the account said (seriously)

"That's insulting...It's one of the five bourroughs."

Is that really something to be insulted by? Some poor schmuck with a bad education and you're going to take it as a personal insult...damn...some people have not enough to worry about. How is that insulting? She must have some kind of complex about living there...When I first moved here I wasn't sure how to spell Manhattan...some one who lived in this apartment before had written in blue paint on the yellow bathroom wall...Hh HAT...next to a funny little drawing of a hat...the hat looks like the snake in le petit prince that had eaten something hat shaped...every time I spell Manhattan I see that and think Man...Hh...HAT...tan.

I have less trouble with spanish names...San Antonio...Bandera...Laredo...San Pedro...Guadalupe...Guanajuato...no problemo.

I noticed everyone yesterday was buying Saul Bellow books...Saul Bellow and hakuri M...I guess Saul
bellow died.

I don't think I've read any of his stories...I have shelved some...I always liked the name...I didn't know he had won a noble...er...um...Nobel prize...Apparently he's won all kinds of prizes and he was very handsome too. Good-bye Saul Bellow...I hardly knew you.

speak what you feel not what you ought to say

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

four am...as good a tim as any to do some mining of te consciousness...I've been feeling less feverish...drinking lots of fluids...on the plus side of bieing sick, my body produces its own food in the form of suprisingly large balls of fleghm (sp?)that emerge from my lungs...so I've been saving a little extra money...with that and the overtime I worked today I may have enough for a haircut and some new shoes soon.

Well...not so much going on...Eric the roomate was downtown and rode the train home with me last night...we saw a girl who could play the sax and hoola hoop at the same time...we also saw my trumpet playing friend, Richard in 14th street tunel between the f anf 3 train...he has a kind face and speaks very thoughtfully. I only see him every few months but amazingly he remembers my name.

Yesterday was the last day of one of the friendliest and funniest people at strand books, Brendon. He quit to finish his Masters thesis comparing King Lear to King James or vice versa...sounds good to me. I don't know much about either one.

King James of England or Scotland? Was there more than one? Doesnt he have a bible or something?

Am I getting bronchitis?

Still a little sick...Sitting here with Tita, La Gatatita...Stuffy head thinking about going outside... overcast and warmish...what's at PS 1? Ugh...I wonder how Socorro is doing in Germany...She doesn't have free access to e-mail yet...so I haven't heard much. Work was good yesterday with the exception of a mystery or a tragedy of some missing rare books which I am afraid got packed with someone else's books...Afterward I met Kathy and Lola at a small unpretentious dance club called Saphire...just south of Houston on eldridge...how good dancing feels...I forgot about my stuffy head.

Last week I rode my bike to Williamsburg and had a most orgasmic experience crossing the bridge...the Williamsburg bridge has a walkway and bikeway that is raised way up...above the traffic alongside the traintracks...it is so high up...a very strange feeling to be biking along so high up you can see into 20 story windows but you can't see the ground...it was night so all the lights of the city were refelcted in the river. Quelle beautiful!

Williamsburg itself has that Disneyesque feel of a place where real people don't live...Reciently...suddenly...transformed...with boutiques and clubs and money...eerily quiet (Maybe its different during the daytime) It made me appreciate my neighborhood with it's yelling and garbage trucks...Everyone seemd to be white and speaking english except behind the counter at the pizza place. The place I went...Galapagos...Had been something like a mayonaise factory transformed into an art space...it was smaller than I expected but does have a cool reflecting pool where the vats of mayonaise used to be.

Home sick

What is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Ugh...I feel like an old Pope.

Bibi, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I won't be coming in to work today. Some kind of horribleplague has taken over my body and no amount of Emer'gen-C seems to kill it.

Sigh...I guess I'll take this opportunity to actually read a book.

the abandoned school across the street has trees growing inside and on the roof.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

the view from my window...there is a car alarm that has been going off repeatedly all morning.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

rest in peas

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

So...Eric The Roomate transcribed the conversation we had last night over pasta and peas:

"That’s really cool of you that you’re pursuing your dreamsI’m notYes you are most people just have safe jobs and never really go after thehard thingsNeither am IYes you are you moved to New york, you go on auditionsNo I don’t, and there’s benefits to having safe jobs. You can have afamily. You can travelNo you can’t, that’s the whole thing, you have your jobWell one day you can cuz you’ll have money. I have friends at home, my agewho own their own housesYeah me tooBut you’re, how old35, that’s truewow Jennifer, you only have like 30 good years left30, I’m ready to go now.Are you serious?Yes, I don’t think I could take another 30Well you could do something?To expediate the process. Yeah, I would never commit suicide. That’s likea last option.YepThere are too many other things one can do before that to change one's life. A person can try to improve life or do all manner of less final self-destructive things. I don't understand why people exfixiate themselves in their cars, it’s so energyin-efficient, they could just buy pills and save the environment? Yaknow?Where do you see yourself in 10 yearsDeadBesides deadEither dead or still working at the strand wishing I was dead. Or married.Uh huhBecause every single person that comes to my cash register I think mmmmm….Iwonder if I could date this person. No matter how horrible. And it’sweird ya know because it was so much easier when I was younger. To datesomeone older. So it’s like I see people that look like they’re dateworthy but they’re little kids. They’re 10 years younger then me. AndI’m, what? I’m old. Most of them are just out of college. For guysit doesn’t matter, to date someone younger is like a badge of courage, butfor me it’s just depressing. Everyday I’m just getting older. 30 years?I think there’s just something wrong with my brain from watching T.V. all the time. I used to have a good imagination, but…..Cable should helpYeah, maybe that’s not the best idea. Get used to this line “I’ll be in myroom”."

Today is the day Christians belive that Christ was re-born. It's a fitting spring-time story...hopeful...when everything is getting green again...Shalom!

A SHOCK, THATS ALL IT WAS, IN THE DARKENED HOUSE. The girl struck by her partner very hard. It had staggered her, it was over the line, you wondered how she was standing. Her partner had clapped her to one side of the face with the full flat of his hand, and it had swung her right around toward the audience, almost knocked her off the stage, and she was hurt. The man in the eighth row from his angle hadn't seen it coming; but neither had she seen it you could almost believe, the actress herself. Something wronfg up there. He was stunned and amazed, he was honestly thrilled, not stunned at all.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

Always look on the bright side of life

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Oh...Eric Idol was just on that show about broadway shows, the one that comes on after Charlie Rose. I am so guilty of Idolatry...he is so cute and funny...as a knight, as a woman, in Brazil (wait...was that him or one of the other pythons in Brazil?)At any rate he's...Adorable. check out his list of favorite books, guess he has a thing for Patricia Highsmith books...cool he likes milan kundera and he's a vegetarian...hey! I love Zion National Park too...especially the echoing frog pool...Heavy sigh...just got home from an insanely hectic day of taking people's money.

I bought two books today...one guitar book and Actress in the House, a novel by Joseph McElroy...The girl on the cover kinda reminds me of Emma.

Tomorrow we get cable and Sunday is a paid holiday so I invited some people over to eat soup and celebrate the wonders of cable and the end of my social life...just kidding, that ended a long time ago. Feel freel to stop by if you're not doing anything. Queens of the Stone Age are on Conan tonight...I kind of like this song...bom...bom...do do do...bom bom...do do do...ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.

Chez Nous

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Spring has sprung. The air is cool and damp, very in-hospitable to bike riding but perfect for hanging around the apartment. below are some photos of our little villa...note the pink and white checkerboard tiles in the kitchen selected by Eric(Edy)Ponce our Honduran Super...they made me ill at first but now they are kind of growing on me...I have started to enjoy the way they clash with the vinyl floor tiles and the way the kitchen tiles clash with the hall tiles...there is a haphazardness to it all. This apartment has actually come a long way in the last two years...well not a very long way but at least the mice and roaches are under control and the walls aren't oozing as much.

Nothing link-worthy is coming to mind today...I read that the world Bank has a new president or ceo or jefe or what have you. I like the way DavidByrne put it...that the World Bank is a misnomer, kinda like the World Series...last night someone asked me a) where is the philosophy section and B) do I think that woman should have the feeding tube removed...or put back?

My gut reaction was to say let the woman die...she's a vegetable...why prolong misery? Why spend so much effort and expense prolonging one life when there are so many people in need of the most basic health care?

He said, "Why does everyone want her to die?" and went on to explain that she was not a vegetable and the husband may well have caused the brain damage in the first place and wanted to make sure she couldn't testify. That there were doctors that said they could improve her condition. I guess that's plausible...Now that I think about it, the picture on the news showed her conscious, blinking...messed up but aware...but the voice over said something like, "her husband says she is a vegetable and there is no reason to keep on keeping her alive."

The old guy made some good points. Still just one life, but it makes a difference if she's conscious and if its a loving husband saying that or if its someone that hates her and tried to kill her and has a life insurance claim to collect. We left it at "we'll see what happens."

hmmm...still nothing to link to...ooh the rain just turned to snow...hmm...is there a site that promotes free clean drinking water and universal health care?

our kitchen window
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

our fridge
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

An amazing woman advertised on craigslist for a tile mosaic person to take the zillion dishes she had collected...she wanted to pass them on like a torch of craftdom...she had started this table and gave it to me to finish...I finally started working on it the other day...its quite fun.
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

organization...trip, tripping over...clothes on the floor
phote taken with my lovely mini dv camera

Happy Birthday Emma

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

people ARE strange...there is a really great cuban salsa party directly across the street from Strand bookstore where I went to meet my former roomate Emma on her birthday...the atmosphere is other worldly...I didn't stay because I didn't see emma there but I want to go back...anyway, Emma this digitized linocut is for you...I hope you enjoy this side of 23.

aujourd hui je dort et je dort tout le matin...comme tu peut vior, je ne parle pas francais mai je sais un mot o cinq...Nous avons ici un objet d'art du l'artiste Lis Johnson que je compris dans la machina Art-O-Matic...Elle ecrit, "This linocut is a portrait of a person living in my neighborhood. I hope you enjoy it." Il s'apelle Richard.
photo taken with my dear departed camera phone

sigh...its monday my day off...I've already slept away most of the morning...what wll i do today? Laundry? reading? video editing? Tile mosaic? cleaning? It's overcast...I would like to go to P.S. 1 or MOMA but I might just get groceries and hang out here at home attempting to catch up on a zillion undone things.
photo taken with my dear departed camera phone

ugh...je suis fatigue(e)

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

I think I have to give up coffee...I feel so blah when I'm not having some...anyway I was going to write some more about the films I saw last week but in this state I really have to force my self to care about anything...my space is wrecked...huge pile of laundry...extra furnature from Socorro's apartment...She was supposed to leave for Germany wednesday but missed her flight...She handled that much better than I would have...bought a new ticket and is leaving todayugh...ugh...ugh...its nice out and my plan is to bike to work today but I really feel like going back to bed for another hour.

there's a new whole foods in union square...I'm not sure how I feel about it...Sort of happy...if I have to pay $2.00 for an apple it might as well be organic...but a little uncomfortable too...Like austin and new york have collided. It's causing confusion and feelings of disorientation. I called my friend kym who works at whole foods in S.F. and she was not very happy with them...they have profit sharing and health care and pay starts at two dollars an hour more than strand...I got called for a job there but had just started working at the bookstore and thought it would be more...what...media-licious? Now I don't know...I wish Strand would clean the used books a little...like half price does...sigh...i miss half price...remember the 25 cent clearence books,? the free screener videos? the varitey of activity...heavy sigh as i think about eight hours at the cash register.

Anyway...I hope a bike ride will cure these blues.

New York Underground

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Jason Schwartzman is on Conan tonight plugging I heart huckabees...must be a rerun. I saw and really loved that movie it was funny wierd and it had lilly tomlin in it which you know is gonna be good. Don't I make a great art critic?

Anyway...I've been very exhausted lately because i've been binging on underground films. Last week, being the cheepskate that I am, I purchased a ten show pass for a film festival at anthology film archives and that's where I've been spending my waking, non-working hours this week.

The first show was a biographical thing about the novelist, jt leroy. Before the screening, Lou "velvet underground" reed read a note from leroy. Lou "take a walk on the wild side" reed as you might imagine has a great reading voice...very deep and comforting...sigh...anyway the film also had some big stars like winona ryder and easy rider. I got the feeling they appeared in this film as mandatory community service for shoplifting and turning so many people on to acid, respectively.

It was kind of a greuling film that left me depressed and conflicted...that's the way it is with these underground films...some are a little boring and some are disturbing, unsettling....and some are really really funny. This one, The Heart is Decietful Above All Things, was all of the above. Which makes it a perfect underground film I guess...in spite of the big name stars.

There were other good flicks worth mentioning but I'm weary from working and watching films then coming home and watching videos with Eric (the roomate, not the super)...must sleep now...oh Eric just got home...he rented Garden State.

let freedom ring

missle dick chicks at last year's anti war march.
photo taken with my dear departed camera phone

ode to martha stewart

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Today I purchaced a small book of Edith Piaf songs...I can hear my roomate Eric, the actor practicing some lines in the next room...loud and forcefully..."What do you do? What do you do?"...now he's making an outgoing message for his vioce mail..."hi this is Eric Feldman please leave a message. if this is an emergency plese call the police...hahahahaha! Po-lice."

I wrote a poem at work today:

Ode to Pepperoni Hot Pocket

Irresistable
vending machine snack,
Vegitarian?

That's right. It's a Hiaku.

I'm trying to think of something interesting to link this to...something related to the day...I was shelving history today...hmmm...there was some discussion about Ulysses vs. Odyessius...which is cooler which is roman...which is greek...oh! Martha is getting out of jail today. I am actually a big fan of her work. especially the chocolate and almond heart shaped cookies...she's a genius...a felon and a genius.

let's see what on her site this month.

grope magazine

So...I started a new blog devoted to acrhitecture, planning, and ecology...art too in a sense, but big, sculptural art like buildings. so far its a list of links...websites I found when I googled architecture. take a look make some observations...comment.

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Hmmm...March first...in like a sloth...time went by pretty quickly today...I started reading a book called 'Nothing If Not Critical" by an Aussie art historian and critic...Robert Hughes? There is the most hidious band on Conan tonight...will it ever end? Hmmm...not much other news...We decided to withhold this rent from the LL until we get full functioning hot water...we're supposed to be getting cable soon...hmmm...I am thinking about graduate schools.
photo taken with my dear departed camera phone

necesito aprender espanol

que es eso que es eso que es eso que es eso que es eso que es eso que es eso que es eso que es eso que es eso que es eso si que es eso si que es eso si que es eso si que es eso si que es eso si que es eso? Si, que es? Eso? Si que es? Eso? Si, que es? Eso? Si, que es? Eso? Si, que es eso...

aqui in esto vecindario y esta edificio donde vivo mucha gente hablan espanol, pero no puedo hablar espanol muy bien. Entonces puedo usar algunos minutos para practicar escribando en espanol.

aqui es unapoema otra de pablo neruda:

Oda a la mesa

Ode to the table

Sobre las cuatro patas de la mesa
desarrollo mis odas,

I work out my odes
on a four legged table,

despliego el pan, el vino
y el asado
(la nave negra de los suenos),

laying before me bread and wine
and roast meat
(that black boat of our dreams)

o dispongo tijeras, tazas, clavos,
claveles y martillos.

sometimes I set out scissors, cups, and nails,
hammers and carnations.


La mesa fiel
sostiene
sueno y vida,
titanico cuadrupedo.


Tables are trustworthy:
titanic quadrupeds.
they sustain our hopes and our daily life.

Es
la encaracolada
y refulgente
mesa del rico un fabuloso buque
cargado con racimos.

The rich man's table scrolled and shining,
is
a fabulous ship bearing bunches of fruit.

Es hermosa de la gula,
rebosante de goticias langostas,
y hay una mesa
sola, en el comedor de nuestra tia
en verano. Corrieron
las cortinas

Gluttony's table is a wonder,
piled high with gothic lobsters,
and there is also a lonesome
table in our aunt's dining room,
in summer. They've closed
the curtains

Patti smith and Ralph Nader

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

When I first read that Ralph Nader and Patti Smith were appearing together, before I got over my disappointment in missing it, I had imagined Ralph and Patti sitting and shooting the shit, discussing current events, maybe singing a few impromptu songs with the audience...looking into it now I see that Patti was performing in support of Nader and the on going campaign to STOP THE WAR ALREADY!

I'm still sorry I missed it, but a little less so. Happy Birthday, Ralph. I support your cause and your right to run for president although I voted for Maxine Waters. If a girl is going to throw her vote away, she can dream can't she?

If I had to chose between this event and david byrne's "I heart powerpoint" lecture at nyu it would be a tough call...I do heart power point though...stop the war...make slide shows...stop the war...make slide shows...could we have david byrne give a powerpoint presentation while patti and ralph sing together with the audience?

no...my head would explode.

mew

what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this what is this

Ever heard of a band called Mew?

apparently they ae opening for the world's greatest band in europe
what a bunch of cuties...they sing ok and their website and videos are erie and filmic and beautiful...They look like some thing my friends, pedro and kym would make.

I Want To Ride My Bicycle

Walking to the subway today some guy dubbed me, "Snow".
photo taken with my dear departed camera phone

Hunter S. Thompson

As soon as I got home from work tonight I switched on Charlie Rose and found him interviewing the belated Hunter S. Thompson. Apparently he punctuated his life in a most gruesome way this week. Charlie asked him what writers influenced him and before he said it I thought "Hemmingway...He's gonna say Hemmingway."

He said Hemmingway taught him that he could be a writer and "get away with it." Like it was a scam he was running.

kjnvuhkjbfiuhflkjnfifluhlakjf;iaufhfkaejenfauhf;kljfnh;ijife;LIJEF;eihhf;KHEF;efsjf;andellucia
feeling proud of myself because i recived a fat paycheck and i figured out how to add links to this page...scroll down to check out the strandsucks blog and wholelottapuddin both written by strand employees.

Otterness

feeling kinda sluggish today...working overtime...here is a picture of a tom otterness sculpture on my block...It bears some resemblence to gulliver...travelling. please post a comment to cheer me up.

This Will Be Our Year

1957...1969...1981...1993...2005...ki-ki-riki-ri!

I just bought McSweeney's Future Dictionary of America. It comes with a cd that I am listening to now. The first song is called "This Will Be Our Year", a good anthem for those of us born in the year of the Cock.

I just got home from a show at the Knitting Factory with my good friend, Miss Socorro Cordova. There was a guy there that looked like Kevin, an ex-boyfriend of my roommate, Keri from High Street back in OH-hi-O. Jean Grae was there and she was as cool as one would expect...not one intsy bit less...she was purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect.

Eric the roommate (not the super) just scared the solid whey out of me by standing in my doorway until I noticed him.

"the crew compartment's breaking up...horns...martha money....ma...ma..ma martha...mahmahmahmoney....carry slugs...dododododododo...stimulation...ma...ma...my...mine...sahyen...playhen...
I love ma...ead...my leg...oh...my...my...million dollar man...trillion dollar plan....wha..bass...babababassssssssssssssssss...ohohoh who has hear the great commotionmotion...little mo petit little van...van...vann...van is a used up mn and rhythem repeat little van...tyler too...the secret rulers of the world...have stolen my little girl...blood of blond children truthful mad...brain camera...took pictures...honey dream...secret....rulers...girl...wisked away...last I'd ever seen...screetch...I'll say it to you...slow down there's gonna be trouble you're gonna forget what you're doing...one false move, baby suddenly everything's ruined...you otta know...there's only one way this could go...Sllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooowwwowowowowowowowodown...on false move, baby, suddenly everything's ruined...if youwere here maybe we'd increase the dose...there was no fear...call me anytime you've got a ghost...if you move off to the side I'll get swept back out...cold but not that deep...there's a lot that rises up from the bottom of the lake...it's cold but not that deep cause your legs growooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooo
if you were here baby, we'd increase the dose there was not fear baby when weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegot close...all pissed off he came barrelin' through....her name is yoshima she's a black belt in karate...cause she knows that its demanding to defeat those machines...yoshime...they don't believe me...that you would't let those robot defeat me.Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....vitamins....girl she knows that it'd be tragic...oh, yoshime...they don't believe me...but you wouldn't let those robots defeat me, yoshime...joe wiley....I'm dreamin on a night train...darkened sky...cold train...wreck of 97...walkin throught the city...story...no matter what you say...i won't come back...I'm feeling Old pain...I don't care...writing on a northern line...spend...time...walking...secret to the sky...say...I'll tell..I'll tell...the onions...l'onion...Walkin through...rain...say...say...spanish guitar...stone...family...conflict...time...served...left...knee...morphine...brain...confidence...heart...
back...hole...goes
jesus christ...years...songs...radios...stone's home...long...work...dime... sam E...stealin...time...road...rode...rhode...arm...goes...suppose...ears pitchers...broken...alone...sad...song...sad...sad...song....life fun house...done...dunn...hill...ears...years...long...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
twang...1...2...3...i got your..............today.............................and my plane wheel touch down...pleasant shame"

grae day

Last night Socorro and I went to the nycgreenhome green building forum discussion of green infrastructure. There was a guy from the us dept of forestry and a guy (an engineer?) talking about soils made from styrofoam and surface aquifers and how the city would stay much much cooler if there were more trees and those trees had access to water. As it is the water runs off and goes into the rivers and messes the ecosystems up there.

We could have gone and had drinks with these folks afterwards but I was feeling shy and needed to return some videos to Kim's Mediopolis...I rented Storytelling and an old film by Rene Clair, Le Voyage Imaginair.

I woke up late today. My hair is wet so I am taking the train to work instead of riding my bike.
Ugh...I am tired and would rather go back to bed but...here I go.

Saturday, Socorro and I are going to see jean grae at the knitting factory.

"PATHS AND GOALS Series of goals. 3. Since you do not want to keep changing direction while you walk and do not want to spend your whole time re-calculating your best direction of travel, you arrange your walking process in such a way that you pick a temporary "goal"--some clearly visible landmark--which is more or less in the direction you want to take and then walk in a straight line toward it for a hundred yards, then, as you get close, pick anothernew goal, once more a hundred yards further on, and walk toward it....You do this so that in between, you can talk, think, daydream, smell the spring, without having to think about your direction of walking every minute. "

--A Patterrn Language
Towns-Buildings-Construction
Christopher Alexander
Sara Ishikawa
Murry Silverstein